Begin With You

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

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Are you tired of ignoring that desire for more in life? Do you often feel like there is something bigger for you to accomplish in this lifetime? Maybe you’re just unsure of the next step to take.


The feeling of ‘hitting a plateau’ is common right before getting to something good. It’s the natural progression of change. The reason for the pause is often because we have some “self” work to do. How are you going to go run that dream business, plant that creative seed or (fill in the blank) if you are not deeply connected to yourself?


Over the course of your lifetime you have been exposed to all sorts of conditioning. Your family lineage, how your parents parented, the media, religion and the education system you were trained in. An awareness you may begin to decipher; what of this have you agreed to? Which teachings or messages have you accepted as truth not even realizing it?

You were created out of a space of pure love and abundance. You might agree, that the conditioning you have been exposed to lacked this message. So when you go within and try to connect deeply with yourself you may find it difficult, because in reality you’re going against the grain.

It all starts with YOU!


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To really effect change you have to identify and shift the patterns that you, at some level, have bought into. How can you give to others if you are not capable of giving to you? You are worth it. If you believe this just enough to take a little closer look…watch out world…you just jumped on the fast track to manifesting your dreams! Think of it as an opportunity to dissolve and re-design the template that is overlying your life.


To ease you into this shift I have outlined a simple process:


First, become aware of the moments that you feel stressed or triggered. We often miss this step because as soon as we feel stress our mind jumps forward, demanding a quick fix or solution. I suggest taking a week and writing down all of your triggers as you feel them. If you carry a journal write it in there or use the electronic notepad of your closest device.


Second, you need to feel. Allow yourself to be in the uncomfortable feelings, without judgment. If you were having a good day you wouldn’t wonder, “Man, why am I happy right now?” But if you’re having a bad day, the first thought would be “Man, why am I so miserable.” So, the next encounter that brings on stress or anxiety, stop, feel and just be with those feelings. The feeling that may come up first is frustration, because you don’t know how to be with these feelings. So silently or out loud say to yourself; “It’s ok that I feel sad, lonely, frustrated, jealous or angry right now.”


Third, flip the lens is your new mantra. Everything that shows up in your life is for you. That’s right, no more blaming. Challenge yourself to stay in the positive and trust that what is showing up for you right now is for “you”. Remember, even in the toughest of times, there is a silver lining.


The fourth and final step is experience. There is no magic wand that can be waved over your life. The magic shows up when you do the work. When you take the extra moment to become aware, feel the pain, sadness or joy and then flip the lens, trusting that every situation is for you. Through these experiences you will start to believe, feel whole, make better choices and notice every sweet synchronicity in life.


Now, if this article feels overwhelming, write it down, you just detected your first trigger. You’re the star in your movie. It’s time to become highly aware and watch.


For more of these refreshing self-help tips, visit V’s Blog at To learn more about Vanessa and her philosophy or to inquire about a personal Life Styling session visit,

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